| Reframing
Life’s Negative Events
You
have all heard this before: “If something can go wrong, it
will… The thing that will cause the most damage will go wrong
first… Things get worse before they get better and nobody
said they’ll get better.” (Murphy’s Law).
As
a natural born optimist – I have always resisted the idea
that Murphy’s Laws have any validity. More often then not,
however, I must declare, that Murphy is right, most of the times.
I have become a believer; I believe when… I take extra good
care of my automobile and accidentally hit a New Orleans-style pothole
that breaks my axle and my checkbook.
Little
negative events, big negative events traumatize us repeatedly in
the life span of an “average” day. In today’s
society, we live in a constant state of stress and trauma…
We are bombarded daily with overwhelming amounts of traumatizing
information, bombings in Saudi Arabia and Oklahoma, corruption in
the government, tainted food, murder, airline crashes, etc. We are
like fish swimming in a blender with someone always attempting to
stir us up! In a recent study by George Washington University, the
evening national news was monitored for 100 nights. The researcher
found 8,500 negative news items and only 370 positive news items.
The conclusion is that we are grossly over-informed about catastrophes
we can do little about. I wonder if Murphy had anything to do with
this study? Consequently we have “psychic numbness,”
a feeling of isolation, an inability to take action and have recurring
thoughts and images of traumatic events.
Oh,
but no! We are not going to change the world…maybe change
small things but until then, let’s have some fun with some
of the difficulties in life.
It’s
like a picture I had that would at best be described as drab and
boring. I thought there was hope for it, so I took it in to my favorite
frame shop where the picture was transformed into a masterpiece
simply by substituting a new frame, which enhanced the colors and
textures already in the print. That’s what we need to do in
life – reframe negative events by finding the humor in them.
As negative as Murphy is, he’s better off financially than
most of us: thanks to his infamous laws. He capitalized on misery,
so we can too!!
My
invitation to you is to develop the habit of finding the humor in
adversity and practice often so that is becomes a habit for you.
After making this commitment to yourself, remind yourself that “I
will look for humor in this event.” Write the situation down
in a small memo pad that you carry around with you just for such
occasions: Tell a friend with a good sense of humor what happened
to you. Brainstorm with that person on funny things they see in
that situation. Join a comedy class. Try reframing personal life
events into comedy. Listen to and learn from other pros like David
Letterman and Jay Leno who take the most negative of current events
and melt them down into their funny components. It’s a real
art, one that can be learned and one that makes life so much more
enjoyable along the way.
There’s
a little saying by A.A. Micilae, “One of the advantages of
being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”
By the same token- see the benefits of being caught in traffic as
an exciting discovery and new material for your “Humor mill!!”
“There is a dirth of mirth on the earth.” (Bill Nelson)
We need to do something about the mirth rate! Collect humorous items
you come across, bumper stickers, funny home videos… and life
takes on a new meaning. It is said that we can not be angry and
laugh at the same time.
In our society we are always touting the benefits of having a high
I.Q. Recent research has verified what many of us already knew.
Without a good E.Q. (emotional quotient) a state in which we can
relate well with others, can persevere in times of hardship and
develop patience and tolerance, even people with a high I.Q. will
not succeed. To that, let’s add H.Q. (humor quotient): that
ability and willingness to find good, clean fun in life’s
unending negative events.
As
Joel Goodman says, “Humor is a wonderful way to prevent hardening
of the attitude.” So, put humor in your life’s potholes.
You’ll feel much better!
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